But I also believe that in most cases, this communication should come from your child, not your spouse. Otherwise, it will create more conflict. It`s up to you to straighten your mother. Even if she doesn`t agree with your husband`s choice, it`s your choice. She must either accept it or accept the fact that it will have a negative impact on your mother-daughter relationship. So which one would she choose? Many toxic mothers-in-law are jealous. Jealousy is an ugly emotion and can cause people to beat horribly, and that`s what they do, it`s beating someone they think is guilty of taking what they think is their place in their child`s life. – She always blames me for every decision her son makes, she said I was manipulative and that a lazy person behaved like a princess just because I was constantly changing the “passion”. My real passion is only 1: teaching. What do you really do when your wife`s mother is her best friend and I dare say just a friend? She comes to your house every week, stays in the kitchen or living room from morning to night! When my brother or cousin enters the kitchen, she walks in like she`s looking for something! As a result, my own brothers and sisters no longer come to my house no matter the occasion. I barely hang around the house myself when she`s around, and she`s there almost every week. My wife and I had an argument one day and out of frustration, I told her that her only friend was her mother! She got angry, left and complained to mom and came back after 3 days.
What amazes me is that whenever my in-laws are around, they can talk non-stop from morning to night! I`m just tired of it all and I don`t really know what to do. And to add to that, my wife is not my parents` best friend. How can I manage this? Once things get serious and the honeymoon phase calms down, you may even notice that you have a mother-in-law who is not so pleasant. They might even be the lucky beneficiary of microaggressions that turn into passive aggression until they turn into full-fledged aggression. Maybe she tells you how to fold the laundry properly or often comes out of the blue. Maybe she insisted that she be allowed into the delivery room when you have your baby, or asks you why you don`t put your partner`s food on the table at dinner. Maybe your mother-in-law is showing signs of jealousy about your marriage, or she`s starting to manipulate situations to put you in a bad light. Regardless, these behaviors tend to accumulate over time until they begin to affect your mental and emotional health and well-being. It`s no wonder so many people are looking for advice on how to deal with it. In fact, according to the latest available research data, the “toxic stepmother” is searched for nearly 3,000 times a month. (Remember, you have the right to eliminate toxic behaviors and toxic people from your life, no matter who they are. Your mental health and well-being come first.) This sequel to “14 Signs You Have a Toxic Mother-in-Law” shows whether the relationship with a toxic mother-in-law can change for the better after giving birth to her grandchildren.
You are the greatest person, the one who understands the big picture, so use this perspective in your favor. If she always behaves when you`re at home, don`t go that often. If she gets weird and controlling during the holidays, you have an escape plan. And now, with in my 2nd relationship, I have this toxic NDE again. It`s still pretty good. HAHAHA. But I will not let her take control of my heart and head to be defeated. I`m tougher and I just know what I have to get by. It`s suffocating to be with these kinds of people manipulating your life. She insisted on how she raised the children to be mine. I warned my darling that he should put boundaries between me and the children to his mother and he does his best.
But we`ll see how far I can go with it. BWAHAHAHA! With that laugh, I know I`m already winning. :p Your mother-in-law`s attempts to control you or your partner should be unacceptable with further discussion. As soon as there is a conversation, boundaries should not be crossed or stricter rules should be implemented. Listen to this podcast about boundaries and how mothers-in-law are immune to them. I just want to thank you so much for this article because I felt so much better after reading it. I also have a toxic mother-in-law and she currently lives with my husband, our 9-month-old daughter and me. The problem is that she thinks our house is her home and she makes sure everyone knows too. She talks about behind our backs all the time and I would recreate it here from some family members.
She`s so jealous of me because I`m essentially living the life she`s always wanted. She is a single mother and retired, so she cannot afford to live alone. We even planned to build a rear annex for them so we could have some privacy. I feel so stuck because she`s so dependent on us, but she tells everyone else. We even pay for the payment of your car and everything. She doesn`t appreciate any of that. I`m so above them. I need them not to be in my life or in our backyard, otherwise I will go crazy in the long run. I love reading these comments because they show that I am not alone and that the feelings are valid. When you say, “I hate my mother-in-law,” it means that this person is crossing boundaries that you and your partner were trying to establish with them, or that you were never able to establish because of the controlling nature. I suffer from severe PTSD because of all the abuse my mother-in-law and her horrible, equally evil daughter have inflicted on me When your mother-in-law is toxic, the world revolves around how she feels and the opinions she gives on almost every topic. She can find ways to fit into any topic you bring up in a conversation.
Even if the daughter-in-law enters the relationship with challenge, a wise mother-in-law can bring love into a kind and supportive relationship where love becomes mutual – because both need it. The problem with a problematic mother-in-law is that she will stay here. So how do you deal with her so she doesn`t drive you out of your mind – or stand between you and your partner? That year, one of my wife`s siblings made the decision to emigrate abroad permanently, and the fact that she always wished her entire immediate family would be there that day meant that we got married before this move. That was this year. – Before we got married, I always worked. I had a job that I loved (teaching children). Because she gave her sons ideas about an ideal woman, my husband said I shouldn`t have an office job/anywhere with office hours. Here, I do home cooking workshops that I don`t really like, and I also take floral arrangement classes (I like it in a way, but not passionately). I feel your pain! Once I was on vacation with my MIL. Never again! Wait, 🙂 However, you have the right idea.
If you can`t completely eliminate a toxic person from your life, minimize your time with them as much as possible.